Live life to love.

I'm currently reading a book containing numerous annotations of life and lessons various individuals have learned. One essay in particular, James Kullander recounted the experiences he had with his wife during her battle with cancer. I felt positively affected by his final reflections concerning the account, regardless of the painful nature of all that had happened.

Here I quote:

"A part of me died with Wanda, a part I was glad to see go: my resistance to love. I'd often put distance between myself and others as a way to keep from feeling trapped or getting hurt. I'd delivered wearying criticisms of people I thought were less than perfect, as if I were any better than them. Living like that had been a long, hard battle with many casualties, the most wounded sometimes being me. I think that during all those silent meditation sessions; in all the time I'd spent listening to the wisdom of renowned teachers, theologians, and sages; in all the millions of words I'd read in profound spiritual tracts, I'd been trying to learn how to love. But no amount of meditation or yoga or studies of scriptures could have given me that. Wanda's death put me in touch with one of the highest orders of human existence: to love others as though we are all dying all the time, because the plain truth of the matter is that we are. For a long time I didn't know how to articulate this new feeling, even to myself. Then a couple years ago I heard k.d. lang sing a Leonard Cohen song in which love is described as "a cold and broken hallelujah." And I thought, "Yes, that's it." In this love I found rest from a sort of homesickness that had afflicted me all my life."

James Kullander's insights really helped me to realize that love truly is what makes life fulfilling. We can do many things throughout our life, searching for what we think might be what we're looking for, but what we need to learn is to love others. With a sincere, undying compassion and sympathy for all around us. To give fully of ourselves and serve everyone.
(Hey! Isn't that the basis of what the Book of Mormon teaches us? Charity never faileth!)
Anyways, I know I purposefully try to distance myself from others. I avoid attachment because I view everything as inevitably fleeting, passing, impermanent . Everything is so temporary to me that I don't want to risk being hurt, losing something I love. So in fear, I am overly cautious. However, in reading Kullander's account, I have been inspired to love more fully! And I wanted to share with you!

First Post of 2009!

Happy New Year!

I just moved home the other week! It's been busy!

We had Grandma and Grandpa Argyle's funerals a month apart. Sad. =(

But, we also had Jennifer and Tanner's wedding last weekend in Oakland! It was great and the reception was sensationally outstanding! Unbelievable -words nor pictures could do its justice!

- At Jennifer's reception -

I wrote a letter to Max today!
He'll probably think "Alexis? She writes LETTERS?! No way!"
I hope to write a letter to Eric tomorrow!

And I'm leaving for my mission in just over a month now! Yahoo!

Oh, Mom and Dad got me this cool smoothie recipe book for Christmas, and today Mom got quite a few ingredients for a variety of recipes! So we'll have to try them out tomorrow! Yay!

Another cool thing I got for Christmas was a gift card to Borders! So I got a nice collection of books the other day, as well as a neat little address book for my mission! Right now I'm reading the coolest collection of Buddhist writings! It's so readable yet deeply introspective!
I love it!

After I finish that, I'm going to start Tale of Two Cities, then the Bhagavad Gita, then Sun Tzu's very own "The Art of War!"

This guy knows the Art of War

Krishna, a Hindu deity

Well, I think I'm going to run on the treadmill for a little bit now!

Peace and Love!